Confession.....
Ermm... where should I start.. This semester had been a very stressful one.... My 1st year here at UIAM full of happy and sad + stressful moment.... Lately it is the stressful part that visits me..... Why that part??? I want the happy part to visits me.... But I can’t stay happy all the time.... That’s life.... Happy + Sad + Blurr + Stress +the other things = LIFE.... This is equation of the day :-p
MY ROOMMATES....... I don't think I fit in with them.. *all of my roommates*.. They always do things just the 3 of them.. And I do my own things myself.. I felt that I’m not welcome.. They only talk to me if they want something from me.. "Teach me how to do this".. "Can I borrow this".. "I want to copy some movies from your laptop"... Other than that, I’m talking to myself.. It had been a bit stressful lately.. Living in a room where I felt that I’m alone.. Plus the final is just around the Conner.. And not to mention I always had a fight every night *with my online friend*.. Wish all of it end as soon as possible.. Can't wait to change room.. Can't wait for the semester break.. And online is the way where I could escape from it all.. But the fight didn't help much..
I wish I could change room next semester... But I can’t... We have to stay at the same room for the whole year... But hoping is not a crime right.... I will keep hoping... Who knew... Maybe next semester the people in charge feel like re organize the room and maybe I could change room.... I WISH.... WHY I WANT TO CAHNGE ROOM????? Well the answer is simple.... because I want to change room... That’s all..... I don’t wanna spent another semester living in a room where i felt not welcome.... WHY I FELT I’M NOT WELCOME..... Wow.... I can give you 101 reasons.... But I’ll just state one for you.... for starter... They hardly talk to me..... Most of the time I’m talking to myself (I’M NOT CRAZY).... Due to that, I started to spend my time listening to music... But they started to say that I’m liberal..... I’M NOT LIBERAL...... No one talk to me... So I listen to the songs... That felt like the singer are talking to me... SOME OF YOU MIGHT THINK THAT I’M JUST MAKING THIS UP...... AND I’M THE ONE WHO ISOLATING MYSELF FROM THEM..... Well I’m NOT..... I don’t really want to talk about this... but people said that if you want to release your tension... JUST TALK ABOUT IT... SCREAM IT TO THE WORLD..... I’m screaming it right now... My final exam is just around the Conner... So I’m screaming my problem... The stress that I hold for quite a long time.... About my roommates... Well, there once where the fact are stated VERY CLEAR.... That he don’t really want to talk to me.... I can’t remember when it was.... But it happens around “maghrib”.... He just came in from taking a bath.... The other two of my roommates are praying jama’ah.. (I already pray before them~~alone).... Those two are blocking his way (my roommate who just came in from the bathroom) to his compartment... So he went to my compartment and start talking.... So I talked to him..... We talk... And talk... And talk.... Until at one point, out o the bushes... He said “actually I have NO attention to talk with you... But since they are blocking my way, I don’t have anywhere to go.. So I went here and talk to you“...... Than after the other finish praying... He left.... OK anyone want to tell me that I’m the one who isolating myself????
I DON’T CARE.......... I don’t need a hypocrite as a friend... Honestly.. I don’t care about them anymore.. I better off by myself.... So, in order to escape from that all.. I went online.... I can talk to those who really care about me there..... MY ONLINE FRIENDS..... Talking to them seems to be easier than talking to my roommates.... But lately, there’s a new addition to our chat group... EVERT NIGHT I WOULD ARGUE ABOUT SOMETHING (random issues) WITH THAT PERSON..... All of the sudden, my “heaven gateway” turns to hell..... Wish everything could turn the way it was.... I don’t know when is the last time I online peacefully without a fight..... Seriously... PLEASE don’t ruin the only place I felt I belong to..... That’s the only place where I could laugh as much as I wanted... That’s where my friends are..... Please don’t ruin it for me......
I can’t wait for the semester to end... I can’t wait to change room.... I wish i get a foreign student as a roommate.... At least if they don’t talk to me I can assume that they don’t really know how to speak in English (fluent in English)... So I don’t mind... But Most of the foreign students here at my university are friendly & talk-active.... That could be the solution for my roommate problem..... But I don’t hate my current roommates... They are good people... I don’t care if they only want to talk to me if they have something to ask or borrow.... At least they are talking to me... Some of you might think that I’m writing this so that my roommates will saw this and change.... WELL... I’M NOT..... They know that i have a blog... BUT THEY NEVER MIND TO OPEN IT...... So I’m not writing this for them... I’m writing this because i want to release my stress..... I want to be in peace.... The final exam is just around the Conner.... If any of you (my roommates) accidently read this... Don’t do anything... You don’t have to act “talking to me” just because of this post.... You don’t have to be an hypocrite... Maybe it was me who don’t understand you guys....
I think that’s all I wanted to say.... That’s it for now... WISH ME LUCK FOR MY EXAM.. Wow... This works... I do feel less stress....
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